Some added insight to the original post below. That's the thing I love about writing. It's such a human thing. Our words and thus are influence and insight are often changing as we continue to live, learn, grow, and try our best to thrive. There is no end to it, and it can always be added to, changed, redeemed, and recycled.
1/3/16 The unshakable thought has come to mind that we perhaps oftentimes give anxiety far too much power. We think it can never go away, As I wrote below about a month ago. There are times I experience complete and total freedom and other times I feel like something is trying to run me over, or bury me alive. This week has beea run-me-over week for me. So I've thought and prayed and reflected and talked with people about this quite about over the past few days. I had resolved that this is always something I'll have to live with and just learn to manage. BUT, if I believe the power of Christ in me than that means my anxiety can be gone for good - but I will have to fight for that nonetheless. Also, as I mentioned first below, what it is that we're really afraid of? A new friend told me that in an episode of Brain Games, they talked about how at one point in time people had real, rational anxieties. Like getting attacked by a bear if they are in the woods, drowning when swimming, or getting into a car accident, etc. Their anxiety was over real threats that could actually harm them. But what are my anxieties about? I don't fear (probably unwisely) getting attacked by a bear if I'm in the woods, or drowning, or getting into a car accident.... But I harbor fear over what my job will be and where I'm going in life, even when I'm in love with and have confidence in my current job because I followed God straight to it? I sometimes have fear over every decision I've ever made in my life? Over what the future holds for me relationally? None of these things post any sort of imminent harmful threat. They are simply things of this life that yes, okay, can be difficult. But no unmanageable, and certainly not things to cause soul-crushing, rapid-fire heartbeat anxiety. So why do I give them so much power? Currently working on realizing that it may not necessarily be "anxiety" that pulls me under, but the unreasonable power I give to these things that I fear that should never have been sources of anxiety to begin with. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 12/6/15 I've been realizing lately just how sneaky anxiety can be. Sometimes it runs you down like a tractor in a cornfield and honestly, that's the easy part. For me, at least, it's easy to weep in a darkened room, taking deep breaths in between repetitions of "Jesus, please take this" and know that within minutes it'll all be over. That's easy. Scary, but easy. Easy compared to spending 30 minutes trying to get out bed in the morning struggling not because you're tired or because your bed is simply too comfortable to leave, but because of a thousand fears that have already run through your head - fears that you can barely even name. Easy compared to realizing you’re starting to let yourself go bit by bit each day because your self-care has unwittingly fallen second to just making it out the door in one piece - to fighting to make sure each step you take is not in fear. That's the sneaky part. These daily fears that I can't even name. You're probably wondering how I don't even know what I'm anxious about. How can I not even name the things I fear daily? I don't know. I don't know because I have no idea what I'm afraid of. There's just fear. Fear that hides itself so well that I don't even know it's there but it affects me nonetheless. Actually, it just dawned on me as I’m now writing this that I probably can't name my fears because they're not actually real. That's what anxiety is. What you feel isn't reality, even though it feels more real than anything. So, basically, you're trying to fight something that doesn't even exist. While I sing the greater reality that, "I'm no longer a slave to fear, for I am a Child of God", I know in my inmost being that it's true. That I've been set free. That Jesus has loosed the chains of the oppressions of fear, but I'm also realizing that the reality of living in a broken world is that sometimes the chains try to come back. Like a slithering, ruthless boa constrictor who, by the time it strikes its prey, the creature is rendered helpless with no time to react or escape. But it was Jesus who made the greatest escape of all time. The one from death into life eternal and so I know that although the fear comes knocking, it can never fully get back in. Which is why, I’m learning, that daily dependence on Jesus to banish those sneaky, unnamable fears is essential. CS Lewis posited, “Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done.” Jesus, please come set me free anew each day. No matter the severity, mental health issues are real and scary for the person dealing with them. But they shouldn’t be scary for you. My challenge to you is that if you love or come across someone struggling with an issue of mental health, you first acknowledge their humanity by simply being there, then by listening, and then by encouraging them to get help. For the love of all things good and Holy please do not tell them to, "Just get over it", "You've gotta move past it," or "What you're feeling isn't real." Because yes, what they're feeling isn't the reality of who they are but to them is the realest thing in their life right now. To the person not yet strong enough to separate their anxiety or other mental health related oppression from what is actually real, you are invalidating their existence and that is in no way helpful. So whether it’s from a counselor, or from getting connected to a small group at church, a mentor, or some other type of support group, let them know that there are people who are there for them. That while their struggle is real, and not uncommon, they don't have to brave it alone. We weren’t made to live life alone and we certainly are not called to be exclusionary. Let’s be welcoming, and listen more than we try to fix.
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Author4th grade teacher. Writer. Justice-seeker. Encourager. CrossFitter. John 11:40. Archives
July 2017
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