I'm running a Spartan race this year and a half marathon. Just let that sink in. Okay, maybe that last line was more for me than for you. I'm actually going to have to try really hard. Push myself and not give up. If you read my last post you know that this is not going to be easy for me. Now, don't get me wrong, I love running. I got into running when I was working at the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and I was training for the Miami Half with Team in Training. But I'm not someone who can just start running and put a couple miles behind me without even realizing it. Oh, how I wish I was one of those people. Running comes easily to me to a point, then it gets really hard - and I want to just cut my losses and give up. Clearly this a cross-cutting theme of many areas of my life... But training for that half helped me learn how to start to believe in my ability and celebrate little victories. Each run would be better than the one before it. I'd make it a little further each time before feeling like I wanted to collapse. The only problem was that I wasn't able to actually do that race or continue my training because of a knee injury. Even after the all-clear from physical therapy 3 years ago (yes, three whole years ago) I haven't pushed over 5 miles on a run. At first I was nervous that I would get hurt again, but then it became an excuse. I convinced myself that I was fine just doing 5K's and that there was no reason to be crazy and do more than that. I had put a ceiling on my ability level and somehow this never-good-enough-perfectionist became okay with that. I gave myself an excuse to not press in. To not put in the time training because risking injury just wasn't worth it. Really I think my issue was that I was afraid I was going to fail. I was scared of the work it would take to get there because, duh, everything is supposed to just come easily to me! Queen of stupid, fear-ridden excuses right here. So how come this year I didn't even think twice about signing up for that Spartan as my GOTR SoleMates event? Or saying yes immediately upon opening a friend's email asking me to do a half? ...Thank you, CrossFit. One of top three things I have been eternally grateful for throughout the past eight months. I'm thankful for this fitness community where everyone truly belongs and where everyone is believed in. On the days I stop believing in myself, completing the WOD later that day or PR-ing a lift reminds me of just how capable I am, and how much stronger I have grown because I'm willing to put in the work. Sure, there are days I've come close to tears (snatching sucks... a lot), but those days help me make peace with failure and amazing coaches remind to trust my strength and just pick it up and try again (seriously I hate you guys sometimes). Giving up is not part of the CrossFit vocab, and it's just about gone from mine too. So this is my year of no excuses. The year of sucking it up and being all-in with the things that matter. Because I'm tired of playing it safe. I'm done with choosing to only do the things that come easily to me. Here's to stepping out of my silly little perfectionist box to take more risks and be better at building a life that both glorifies and needs our God.
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Author4th grade teacher. Writer. Justice-seeker. Encourager. CrossFitter. John 11:40. Archives
July 2017
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